John Mayer gave a very long interview to Playboy Magazine and it had just so many great quotes, I had to put up the best ones...
what a douche...
"When I watch porn, if it’s not hot enough, I’ll make up backstories in my mind. My biggest dream is to write pornography."
"-PLAYBOY: Masturbation for you is as good as sex?
-MAYER: Absolutely, because during sex, I’m just going to run a filmstrip. I’m still masturbating."
"Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’""
"-PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
-MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick."
"Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic."
"I hear about man-whores more than I hear about whores. When women are whorish, they’re owning their sexuality. When men are whorish, they’re disgusting beasts. I think they’re paying us back for a double standard that’s lasted for a hundred years."
"At this point, before I can have sex I need to know somebody. Unless she’s a 14 out of 10."
"-MAYER: It wasn’t as direct as me saying “I now make the choice to bring the paparazzi into my life.” I really said, “I now make the choice to sleep with Jessica Simpson.” That was stronger than my desire to stay out of the paparazzi’s eye. That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me.
-PLAYBOY: You were addicted to Jessica Simpson?
-MAYER: Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm."
"When I’m fucking you, I’m trying to fuck every man who’s ever fucked you, but in his ass, so you’ll say “No one’s ever done that to me in bed.”"
"I was dating Jessica at the time, and I remember seeing Perez Hilton flitting about this club and acting as though he had just invented homosexuality. All of a sudden I thought, I can outgay this guy right now. I grabbed him and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I have ever put on anybody—almost as if I hated fags. I don’t think my mouth was even touching when I was tongue kissing him, that’s how disgusting this kiss was. I’m a little ashamed. I think it lasted about half a minute. I really think it went on too long."
"-PLAYBOY: Would you kiss Harvey Levin?
-MAYER: I would rim him, probably. I can’t just repeat the kissing trick."
"A platinum record is not going to wash your ass for you."
Playboy interview
http://www.playboy.com/articles/john-mayer-playboy-interview/index.html?page=2
